'You are signing up for a lifetime of being babysat by a jealous manchild': 27-year-old tells her best friend that she shouldn't marry her fiancé during her bachelorette trip, gets blamed for the wedding getting called off

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
May 7, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Have you ever have to bite your tongue about your friend's horrible romantic partner? We've all been in that situation where your bestie is dating someone that you can't help but dislike, but how you deal with that dislike says a lot about who you are as a person. For most of us, we will bite our tongues, especially if they've only been together for a short amount of time. That way, you're betting on them breaking up at some point, where you'll be able to say, "I never liked them in the first place."  Unfortunately, that breakup might never come, forcing you to pretend to be happy for your friend during their wedding and marriage to this total drip. That can be avoided if you tell them from the jump that you don't like their partner, but most people won't do that because it might damage the friendship to the point of no return. 

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  • The friend in this story might've damaged her friendship, but she did the right thing. After enduring an incredibly sad bachelorette trip with her best friend, she told her she couldn't marry the man she was planning to marry because he's controlling and will ruin her life. The wedding got called off, but so did the friendship. 

  • 01

    AITAH for telling my best friend her marriage is doomed at her bachelorette party and accidentally getting the wedding canceled

    This weekend was a disaster... I 27F have been best friends with Amy 28F for years. She has been with this guy Jake for about three years, and honestly, he is a walking red flag. He is super controlling, jealous, and always checking her location. Once, he called her nine times while we were just shopping at Target. Amy
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  • 02
    BR
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    keeps defending him, saying he is just protective because he cares so much. Whatever At her bachelorette party, it was supposed to be a fun girls night, but Jake kept blowing up her phone. Texts, FaceTimes, asking where she was, accusing her of acting single. She kept leaving to
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  • 04
    call him back, crying and apologizing, while the rest of us sat there awkwardly. After about the fourth time she left the table, I just lost it. When she came back, I said loud enough for the whole table to hear You are not marrying a husband, you are signing up for a lifetime of being babysat by a jealous manchild.
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  • 05
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    via Ramy Mamdouh

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 06
    Amy started crying and ran out of the bar, half the girls followed her Later that night, her mom called me, drink, thanking me, because apparently they have all been worried about Jake but did not know how to stop the wedding. Her mom told Amy if she goes through with the wedding, they will not pay for it. Now Amy has
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    Cheezburger Image 10502771712
    via Zemfira Aminova

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 08
    blocked Jake, moved out of their apartment, and moved back into her parents house. But she also blocked me for humiliating her Half our friend group is saying I did the right thing. The other half is calling me jealous and toxic for blowing up her relationship right before the wedding. So.. AITAH?
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  • 09
    Tamika_Olivia No good deed goes unpunished. You did the right thing. She was going to be in for a lifetime of misery. But that doesn't mean she is going to like you for it. I'm sorry, hopefully she'll come around. But don't doubt yourself here.
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  • 10
    FrostGlistenss OP Thank you, it honestly helps hearing that. It s_ks losing a friend but deep down I know I would have hated myself more if I stayed quiet
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  • 11
    beena 1993 OP if your friendship with her is true she'll realize you did the right thing. You were right. She was signing up for years of ab e. Her parents should have been saying this to her. Her other friends should have too. Thank goodness you stepped up. NTA.
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  • 12
    Best_West_Rest It sounds like you were going to lose a friend either way. At least this way she doesn't have to deal with that guy anymore.
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  • 13
    Pizza__rolls Her parent have likely been saying this to her and she had her mind set, OP helped turn it around for the better
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  • 14
    ofcbrooks This is absolutely true. Young adult children often to not like to hear uncomfortable advice from their parents. It's only when one of their peers (or sometimes an unrelated adult) offers the advice that they are more amenable to accept it. When your friend finally meets the right guy, who will treat her right, and give her the space she deserves, she will come around and thank you for saving her from this one. NTA
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  • 15
    lamLuann The boyfriend/Fiancee was a BIG RED FLAG. with a lot or little red flags. Good for you for practically saving her life. Just remember that her Mom Thanked you. At least her Mom will be your friend. Give everyone a couple of months/years to figure it out. You did Great.
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  • 16
    Velharthis009 I'm gonna come in with a big NTA. My sister asked me 5 times, the day of her wedding, that she was an hour late to, if she was making a mistake. I answered yes each and every time she asked, but told her it was ultimately her decision. I was gentle and kind about it Gentle and kind... Did. Not. Work.
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  • 17
    He got physical and emotionally ab ive, cheated on her, while isolating her from her friends and family. Even made her quite working when she was a nuclear engineer. It wasn't until her daughter told her she was scared and didn't see 'that man's her father that she left. You may have lost a friendship (hopefully temporarily) but most likely saved her life and future.
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  • 18
    FrostGlistenss OP I'm so sorry your sister went through that. It's heartbreaking but it makes me feel a little better about stepping in when I did. I just hope she can see it before it's too late
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  • 19
    Exciting Grocery_223 It's a heavy weight to carry, having a friend furious with you, but in safety. But not as heavy as carrying her coffin after pretending everything was fine.
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  • 20
    Adeisha A long while ago, I came across a PSA and it said: "It's better to lose a friendship than to lose a friend." Meaning that while your self-destructive friend might be mad at you for saying something and
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  • 21
    they don't want to talk to you anymore, it's better than keeping quiet which could lead to them passing. I think this situation is a good example of that saying. You might have lost her friendship, but you didn't lose your friend in a far more tragic circumstance.
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  • 22
    throwRA-nonSeq One of the things people rarely mention about leaving a toxic or ab_ive relationship is the humiliation you feel when you realize everyone could see how your life was it the entire time. You didn't actually hide it very well. You were given advice here and there, loving hints at leaving him, and you defended him so much. Now that when the rose-tinted glasses finally, FINALLY come off, embarrassment and humiliation are a huge part of the trauma. Don't ask me how I know.
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  • 23
    She is freshly dealing with an open emotional wound. Like others have said here, give her some time. Let her know you're always available as her friend. You didn't directly humiliate her, it was hearing the words out loud in front of God and everyone that was humiliating. Hearing everyone agreeing. NTA.
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  • 24
    SupposedAdult_928 Yes! I said someone similar in my comment; I wish someone would've said something to me. My ex was great at using my logical side to his advantage, so he was able to justify his actions in a way that made sense to me, and he made me believe I was the problem. If someone would have straight up told me they were worried about me/my relationship, or if one of our neighbors would've called for a wellness check (because I have a hard time believing no one heard our arguments/my mult
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  • 25
    Acrobatic_hero NTA You need to also make sure he doesn't turn his attention on you. He sounds like the type that would blame you and come after you
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boyfriend long term relationship bachelorette friendship wedding party wedding drama bachelorette party friends relationships wedding fiancé toxic relationship fiancee
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